The Top 17 Signs You're at a Bad Renaissance Festival 17 The castle and village are made entirely of Legos. 16 Turkey leg bears striking resemblance to Cocker Spaniel leg. 15 Festival activities include "Ye Olde Wet T-Shirt Contest." 14 Eight minute drum solo in the middle of "Greensleeves." 13 "Belly up to the bar, me lad, for some grilled mahi-mahi and fresh California Roll!" 12 Ye Old Glassblower makes nothing but crack pipes. 11 The meade is served in a coconut shell with a Fizzy straw. 10 Everyone seems to have attended the Kevin Costner School of British Accents. 9 Mosh pit follows the wandering minstrels. 8 You get charged 5 bucks to take a leak behind Ye Olde Hedge. 7 Guillotine exhibit closed due to pending litigation. 6 Friar Tuck's pager keeps going off. 5 Weaponsmith only sells handguns. 4 Disgusting Ogre is merely an unshaved Marlon Brando. 3 "Tarry, wench, I prithee! Wouldst thou Macarena?" 2 Merlin the Magician's only trick is "Got your nose!" and the Number 1 Sign You're at a Bad Renaissance Festival... 1 Jousting Crips & Bloods.
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