Top 10 Signs of a Bad Ren Fest

     The Top 17 Signs You're at a Bad Renaissance Festival
 17 The castle and village are made entirely of Legos.
 16 Turkey leg bears striking resemblance to Cocker Spaniel leg.
 15 Festival activities include "Ye Olde Wet T-Shirt Contest."
 14 Eight minute drum solo in the middle of "Greensleeves."
 13 "Belly up to the bar, me lad, for some grilled mahi-mahi and fresh
 California Roll!"
 12 Ye Old Glassblower makes nothing but crack pipes.
 11 The meade is served in a coconut shell with a Fizzy straw.
 10 Everyone seems to have attended the Kevin Costner School of British
 9 Mosh pit follows the wandering minstrels.
 8 You get charged 5 bucks to take a leak behind Ye Olde Hedge.
 7 Guillotine exhibit closed due to pending litigation.
 6 Friar Tuck's pager keeps going off.
 5 Weaponsmith only sells handguns.
 4 Disgusting Ogre is merely an unshaved Marlon Brando.
 3 "Tarry, wench, I prithee!  Wouldst thou Macarena?"
 2 Merlin the Magician's only trick is "Got your nose!"
  and the Number 1 Sign You're at a Bad Renaissance Festival...

 1 Jousting Crips & Bloods.

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