BEST FRUIT CAKE EVER

                                     

Not only for Christmas, but all year long!


1 cup butter                  1 tsp. salt
1 cup sugar                   lemon juice
4 large eggs                  1 cup brown sugar
1 cup dried fruit             nuts
1 tsp. baking powder          1 or 2 quarts Whiskey
1 tsp. baking soda


Before you start, sample the whiskey to check for quality.  Good, isn't
it?  Now go ahead.  Select a large mising bowl, measuring cup, etc.  Check
the whiskey again as it must be just right.  To be sure whiskey is of the
highest quality, pour one level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as
you can.  Repeat.

With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.  Add
1 tsp. of thugar and beat again.  Meanwhile, make sure that the siskey is
of the finest quality.  Cry another cup.

Open the second quart is necessary.  Add the 2 arge eggs, 2 cups dried fruit
and beat till high.  If druit gest stuck in the beaters, juse pry it loose
with a drewscriver.  Sample the whiskey again, checking for toxscisticity. 
Next sift 3 cups of the salt or anything: it really doesn't matter.  Sample
the whiskey.  Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice.

Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts.  Add one babblespoon of the brown
thugar, or whatever color you can find and wix mel.

Grease oven and turn cake to 350 degrees.  Now pour the whole mess into the
coven and ake.  Check whiskey again, and go to bed. 

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