Actual Bumper Stickers

                                       
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Out of my mind.  Back in five minutes.
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Cover me.  I'm changing lanes.
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Happiness is a belt-fed weapon
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I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... ... Not
screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car ...
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Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
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Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
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The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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Don't blame me, I'm from Uranus.
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When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
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Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
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Wink, I'll do the rest!
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I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
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When there's a will, I want to be in it!
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Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
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If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
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Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
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It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
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Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal !
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Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
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We are born naked, wet and hungry.  Then things get worse.
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Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
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He who laughs last thinks slowest
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
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The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
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We are Microsoft.  Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
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Be nice to your kids.  They'll choose your nursing home.
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3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
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Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
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Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
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2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
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I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic
particles.
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I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
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Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
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